9 things to consider when supporting older parents

Most people are happy to help elderly parents or family in need but it's still common to find it challenging. It's also very normal to find an older parent is reluctant to accept help or make changes.

Below are 9 common issues that often come up when supporting older parents or relatives. If you need advice and support, McDonald Homecare is here to help.

1️⃣ 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴. For example, washing, dressing and meals.

2️⃣ 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀. This can be anything from falls and fire risks to being vulnerable to doorstep or phone scams.

3️⃣ 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀. Many older adults have chronic conditions that require medication and monitoring. As illnesses progress, family members often become more involved in decision making.

4️⃣ 𝗟𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀. Some older adults lose the capacity to manage their financial or legal affairs and may require assistance. Planning ahead, such as for power of attorney can make things easier when it becomes necessary.

5️⃣ 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀. Housing can affect quality of life, safety and the ability of others to provide assistance. A spare bedroom may no longer be required, but downsizing could rule out the possibility of live-in care in future.

6️⃣ 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲. This is all about thinking beyond basic needs and understanding what will improve a loved one's quality of life. Issues such as social connectedness, purpose, autonomy and dignity all need consideration.

7️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱. This will help reduce the stress of trying to make decisions and arrangements in an emergency situation. We often see families faced with reduced care options because of time pressures.

8️⃣ 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝘆𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀. Helping parents often brings relationship challenges. Good intentions can strain relationships if they are perceived as reducing a person's autonomy or dignity. Challenges also come from siblings and care giving parents. Practicing better communication is key here.

9️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲.Helping an older parent can be rewarding but can induce chronic stress. The care giver can all too easily neglect their own wellbeing, putting their health at risk and their ability to carry on caring. Support groups, boundaries and allocating specific times for your own health are important.